Alienating Behaviours: Signs, Solutions & Legal Guidance

When parents separate, children can sometimes become caught in the middle of the conflict. One particularly concerning dynamic that may emerge is what has traditionally been called “parental alienation,” but is now more accurately referred to as “alienating behaviours” following recent guidance from the Family Justice Council.

Understanding Alienating Behaviours: The New Terminology

In December 2024, the Family Justice Council released comprehensive guidance on how to address situations where a child shows unexplained reluctance, resistance, or refusal to spend time with a parent. This guidance marked an important shift away from the term “parental alienation” toward the more precise concept of “alienating behaviours.”

This change in terminology is significant because the term “parental alienation” has become associated with the now-discredited “parental alienation syndrome,” which is considered by experts to be a harmful pseudo-science that can be exploited within family litigation.

The Family Justice Council now defines alienating behaviours as “psychologically manipulative behaviours, intended or otherwise, by a parent towards a child which have resulted in the child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal to spend time with the other parent.”

The Three Elements of Alienating Behaviour

According to the 2024 Family Justice Council guidance, for a court to conclude that alienating behaviours have occurred, three specific elements must be satisfied:

1. The child is reluctant, resisting, or refusing to engage in a relationship with a parent or carer (referred to as “RRR”)

2. The reluctance, resistance, or refusal is not consequent on the actions of that parent towards the child or the other parent, which may otherwise be an appropriate justified rejection by the child (AJR), or is not caused by any other factor such as the child’s alignment, affinity, or attachment (AAA)

3. The other parent has engaged in behaviours that have directly or indirectly impacted the child, leading to the child’s reluctance, resistance, or refusal to engage in a relationship with that parent

It’s important to understand that all three elements must be present for a court to make a finding of alienating behaviour. The absence of any one element means that alienating behaviour cannot be established.

Recognising Signs of Alienating Behaviours

Alienating behaviours can manifest in various ways. Parents should be alert to the following warning signs:

In Children:

• Unjustified hostility or denigration toward one parent

• Lack of ambivalence about the rejected parent (seeing them as all bad)

• Weak or absurd reasons for rejection

• Automatic support for the favoured parent in any conflict

• Absence of guilt about cruel treatment of the rejected parent

• Use of adult language or phrases that seem rehearsed

• Rejection extending to the rejected parent’s extended family

Behaviours by the Alienating Parent:

• Badmouthing or belittling the other parent in front of the child

• Limiting contact without valid reasons

• Interfering with communication between the child and the other parent

• Making false allegations of abuse or neglect

• Requiring the child to reject the other parent

• Creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous

• Confiding adult matters to the child

• Forcing the child to choose between parents

Distinguishing Alienating Behaviours from Other Dynamics

The Family Justice Council guidance emphasises the importance of distinguishing alienating behaviours from other reasons why a child might resist contact with a parent. These include:

Attachment, Affinity, and Alignment (AAA) – These are typical emotional responses to parenting experiences and not the result of psychological manipulation. Children may naturally favour one parent over another.

Appropriate Justified Rejection (AJR) – This occurs when a child’s rejection of a parent is an understandable response to that parent’s behaviour, such as in cases of abuse or neglect.

Protective Behaviours (PB) – These are actions taken by a parent to protect a child from exposure to abuse by the other parent or from suffering harm.

Reluctance, Resistance, or Refusal (RRR) – These behaviours by a child concerning their relationship with a parent may have various causes, not necessarily alienating behaviours.

Impact on Children

The effects of alienating behaviours on children can be profound and long-lasting:

• Psychological distress, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem

• Identity issues and confusion about their own perceptions

• Difficulty forming healthy relationships later in life

• Academic problems and social difficulties

• Increased risk of substance abuse

Legal Remedies and Solutions

When alienating behaviours are suspected, several legal options are available:

Child Arrangement Orders
The court can make orders specifying with whom a child should live, spend time, or have other types of contact. These orders can include specific provisions to address alienating behaviours.

Enforcement Orders
If a parent breaches a Child Arrangement Order without reasonable excuse, the court can impose an enforcement order requiring the person to undertake unpaid work or pay financial compensation.

Specific Issue Orders
These orders address particular questions about an aspect of parental responsibility, such as which school a child should attend or whether they should receive certain medical treatment.

Role of CAFCASS
The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) plays a crucial role in cases involving alienating behaviours. They may be asked to prepare reports about the family situation and make recommendations to the court.

Practical Steps for Parents

If you believe your child is being affected by alienating behaviours, consider these approaches:

Keep detailed records
Document incidents, conversations, and behaviours that suggest alienating behaviours. The Family Justice Council guidance emphasizes that allegations must be evidence-based.

Maintain contact
Continue to make efforts to maintain a relationship with your child, even if it’s difficult. Consistency is key.

Seek mediation
Before court proceedings, consider family mediation to resolve disputes about child arrangements.

Focus on the child’s well-being
Always prioritize your child’s emotional well-being over “winning” against the other parent.

Seek professional support
Consider therapy or counseling for yourself and potentially for your child to navigate this challenging situation.

Recent Guidance and Best Practice

The Family Justice Council’s 2024 guidance represents a significant development in how family courts approach cases involving a child’s reluctance to spend time with a parent. Key points from this guidance include:

• The welfare of the child should always be paramount

• There are numerous causes of reluctance, resistance, or refusal (RRR), and the presence of RRR should not automatically indicate alienating behaviours

• The term “parental alienation” should no longer be used due to its association with disproven pseudo-scientific terminology

• Allegations of alienating behaviours should be raised early in proceedings and supported by evidence

• The party making allegations of alienating behaviours is responsible for identifying the evidence they seek to rely on

The guidance also includes a flowchart mapping the litigation journey when alienating behaviours are alleged, providing different pathways depending on whether there are also allegations of domestic abuse.

Conclusion

Addressing alienating behaviours requires a nuanced understanding of family dynamics and a child-centered approach. The recent shift in terminology and guidance from the Family Justice Council reflects a more evidence-based and welfare-focused approach to these complex situations.

If you’re concerned about possible alienating behaviours affecting your child, seeking professional legal advice is essential. One of our family law specialist can help you navigate the legal system, gather appropriate evidence, and develop strategies to protect your relationship with your child while ensuring their best interests remain the priority.